Grunt, Spin: Hedge Fund Managers Duke it Out on Way to Billionaire List
23 September 2007
There is nothing more competitive than working towards private placement on the Forbes' 400 rich --billionaire-- list, but two men who were not quite ready to join the list did grab the headlines away from their competitors after a gym -- a bon chat, bon rat.
This male alley cat fight may not have seemed a big sell, especially to senior pensioners and middle class families working towards closing the month with at least one penny up, but it is indicative of the current state of the class divide in the United States.
Wealthy Wall Street stock broker Christopher Carter of Maxim Investments Group picked up on hedge fund manager Stuart Sugarman and his stationary bicycle during a "spin" class in a posh Manhattan gym. Neither of them made it to Forbes magazine's new billionaire list (where being a millionaire is no longer adequate.)
Now this "pick up" didn't require an Equinox gym sex ad on craigslist.org, but was equally homo as are the 13 current ads for an Equinox lockeroom rub-up at the time of this publication.
Carter allegedly didn't like Sugarman's euphoric grunting sounds during class as then soon-to-be victim splattered body sweat on his stationary bicycle. Carter is said to have told Sugarman to stop with the love making sound affects and then pushed Sugarman, and the bicycle, against a wall.
Carter, 44, was later charged with misdemeanor assault, but was released in time to get back to trading stocks. Sugarman, 48, required surgery for a herniated disc as a result of the incident according to his attorney. The two will pay their male lawyers to fight it out in court so they all can concentrate on making more cash.
Sugarman of Sunrise Financial Group
has since told the press that his Equinox membership was cancelled as a result of the male-to-male bonding affair. He should consider himself lucky -- he just saved himself $150 a month plus additional charges for each spin class.
In the world of these fighting soon-to-be billionaire investment boys on Wall Street this signals what will come as they strive to earn their $1 billion (on up) bonuses per year. Watch out for gym rage (or as the bloggers are calling the affair 'spin-rage',) roadway and subway rage. Don't even consider getting in their way at Gourmet Garage as these men shop for their groceries. Who knows what they'd do if you test their claim on fresh fruit.
Hedge Fund -- "Funds that use betting techniques, and short sales to limit risks. Pursues total return strategy and charge high performance fee. Few restrictions and unregulated."
Immoral -- "See: Hedge Fund Managers"
So, while the race is on to make Forbes' rich list --which no longer includes poor millionaires-- the all male club (list to follow) had to each be worth at least $1.3 billion according to the Forbes list crunchers. (We hear Forbesí employees can't afford memberships at Equinox.)
Gone are the days when actual work equaled earning legitimate money.
Forbes' Hedge Fund Managers on the 2007 'Richest' citizens of the United States listed by Rank, Name, Age, Net Value, Location, Occupation:
33. George Soros, 77, $8.8 billion, Westchester, N.Y., hedge funds
47. Steven Cohen, 51, $6.8 billion, Greenwich, Conn., hedge funds
57. James Simons, 69, $5.5 billion, East Setauket, N.Y., hedge funds
82. Ray Dalio, 58, $4 billion, Greenwich, Conn., hedge funds
91. Stanley Druckenmiller, 54, $3.5 billion, New York, hedge funds
91. Bruce Kovner, 62, $3.5 billion, New York, hedge funds
91. Daniel Ziff, 35, $3.5 billion, New York, inheritance, hedge funds
91. Dirk Ziff, 43, $3.5 billion, New York, inheritance, hedge funds
91. Robert Ziff, 41, $3.5 billion, New York, inheritance, hedge funds
105. Paul Tudor Jones II, 53, $3.3 billion, Greenwich, Conn., hedge funds
117. Kenneth Griffin, 38, $3 billion, Chicago, hedge funds
165. John Paulson, 51, $2.5 billion, New York, hedge funds
165. Peter Peterson, 81, $2.5 billion, New York, Blackstone Group
165. David Shaw, 56, $2.5 billion, New York, hedge funds
239. Joshua Harris, 42, $2 billion, New York, leveraged buyouts
239. David Tepper, 49, $2 billion, Chatham, N.J., hedge funds
286. Louis Bacon, 51, $1.7 billion, London, hedge funds
317. John Arnold, 33, $1.5 billion, Houston, hedge funds
317. Israel Englander, 59, $1.5 billion, New York, hedge funds
317. Hamilton James, 56, $1.5 billion, New York, Blackstone Group
317. Marc Lasry, 48, $1.5 billion, New York, hedge funds
317. Daniel Och, 46, $1.5 billion, New York, hedge funds
317. Marc Rowan, 45, $1.5 billion, New York, leveraged buyouts
361. Jamie Dinan, 48, $1.4 billion, New York, hedge funds
380. Glenn Dubin, 50, $1.3 billion, New York, hedge funds
380. Barry Rosenstein, 48, $1.3 billion, New York, hedge fund, Jana Partners
380. Henry Swieca, 50, $1.3 billion, New York, hedge funds
Now for those hedge fund managers that were too poor to make the list in 2007 -- but they may join in 2008.
- Lee Ainslie III -- hedge funds
- James Cayne -- Bear Stearns
- Richard Chilton -- hedge funds
- Leon Cooperman -- hedge funds
- Ian Cumming -- investments
- Jeffrey Gendell -- hedge funds
- Robert Kauffman -- Fortress Investment Group
- Stephen Mandel -- hedge funds
- Richard Perry -- hedge funds
- Thomas Steyer -- hedge funds
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